Justin Schwanke sent through the latest installment from Weird and Revered for you all to check out. This BMX video is a little over 13 minutes of good times him and his friends spent cruising street spots and skateparks in Vancouver. This has a lot of extra footage for some good laughs. Justin also put together a pretty interesting short story that doesn’t really have to do with this video and some photos from the trip for you to check out below!
“On a gloomy morning in the quaint town of Normsville, Obscure Oswald dressed himself with his usual attire from Conformo College’s lost and found bin. He then pranced leisurely on route to Standard Square via General Drive. Trailing behind him was his raccoon sidekick nicknamed Ricardo. Obscure Oswald had decided to gather together the members of his vagabond clan for a meeting.
Upon arriving in the square, he sat on the ground with his hands in his lap and Ricardo the Racoon atop his head. Obscure Oswald observed each passerby. He examined their body language, their facial expressions, and the speed of their strides; most of whom appeared alarmed by his presence, flustered with life, and in a rush to make it to work on time. He noted their perturbed reactions to his skeletal figure and uncanny behaviour. Obscure Oswald was genuinely proud of his ability to make people feel uncomfortable and confused. Together with Ricardo, he hissed at those who seemed most annoyed.
As his fellow vagabonds gathered, Obscure Oswald indicated that the purpose of the meeting was to share a story. “Many moons ago I was in the coastal city of Uniqua during my pal, Gregarious Gary’s birthday. We spent the bulk of our day wandering around the beach, scaring spoiled children, and splashing snobby parents. By evening, Gregarious Gary and I befriended some locals who wanted to take us to a roller derby. We both obliged and joined them.
Everyone else socialized and watched the event, but I could tell Gregarious Gary wasn’t his gregarious self. I asked what was wrong and he explained that his only birthday wish was to stuff his face with chicken curry and strawberries. I was empathetic and decided it was my mission to fulfill his desires. There were two problems though: We were on the other side of the city from our campsite, and Curryberry Grocery Store was closing in an hour. The food and ingredients had not yet been purchased. Without access to an automobile, I realized we wouldn’t make it to the store on time. I tried to think of an alternative. Suddenly, it came to me. We could roller skate.
In order to obtain some skates we would have to borrow them from the roller derby girls. If we could woo these women, perhaps they’d give in to our request. I advised Gregarious Gary of my plan. We then observed each of the girls, paying close attention to the size of their feet. On the roller derby track I soon spotted two husky women ahead of the pack. We both noted their broad shoulders, man hands, thunder thighs, and enormous feet. Once they finished the race, we each went in to spit some game.
Gregarious Gary approached the winner of the heat race. He congratulated her and asked ‘Was your father a mechanic?’ ‘What do you mean?’ she replied. ‘I was just wondering how you got such a finely tuned body. You’re a high performance machine. You really led the pack out there’ he said. The girl blushed and laughed. Gregarious Gary continued to work his magic and eventually asked to use her roller skates. The girl explained that she still needed them for her final race. However, she had access to the roller skate stock room.
Meanwhile, I was coming up unsuccessful with Husky Girl #2. She wasn’t in the mood to talk, especially after her loss. Gregarious Gary called me over and told me we had a hook-up on some roller skates. Husky Girl #1 took us to the stock room. With our roller skates laced up and 35 minutes until closing time at the grocery store, we were ready to rip. Before leaving, Gregarious Gary thanked the girl and told her to watch for a smoke signal later in the night.
Our quick legs and our ability to stitch vehicles allowed us to make it to the store with minutes to spare. Gregarious Gary and I sighed with relief. We had done it. After purchasing an excess of food and ingredients, we then headed to the campsite. Gregarious Gary built a fire and I prepared the meal. Husky Girl #1, having spotted Gregarious Gary’s smoke signal, arrived in time to eat. She brought with her a squad of fellow roller derby girls who appeared disgusted by the chicken curry and strawberries. I watched intently as Gregarious Gary took the first bites of his birthday dinner. He savoured the plethora of flavours on his pallet and chewed calmly. Gregarious Gary then began to purr like a kitten. ‘Mission accomplished’ I said. ‘What do you mean?’ one of the girls asked. I ignored her question and instead resolved to thinking about the day’s journey.”
Obscure Oswald looked at his audience after having completed the story. One of the vagabonds, Juanita the Wanderer spoke up, “And where is Gregarious Gary now?” Obscure Oswald paused for a moment and then replied, “He’s somewhere out there in this complex ecosystem enjoying the simple things, just as we all should.” The vagabonds took a minute to reflect and then nodded in agreement. Together they would hiss at the pre-occupied people of Normsville for the rest of the day.” – Justin Schwanke
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